do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
