so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
