hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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