I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
