I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
