Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
