I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize