Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
