my vag is so smooth its legendary
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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