I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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