i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
