google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize