party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
