Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize