are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
