So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
