i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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