i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize