I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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