i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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