It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
