I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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