If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I could fuck to npr.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
