Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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