I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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