So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
