Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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