just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
