Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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