Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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