We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
