At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hippo gnu deer
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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