So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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