I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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