So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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