I feel like abortions should bother me more
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I want you more than these girls want KFC
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize