Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
