This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
