Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
