apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize