He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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