I can't breathe out the right side of my face
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
