How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
