the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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