I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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