what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
