I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my shit smells like andre
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
