Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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