If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
