Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
