Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
