I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
