At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
