Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
