Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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