This is not my ceiling
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
