im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
