does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
