YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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