She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
